Retail Price
by Kalquessa
Summary: Humorous ficlet in which Sam and Teal'c are compelled to pay retail price for one archaeologist and one Air Force Colonel. Season 9.


A quick ficlet in which I attempt to nail the voices of the Season 9 team. No spoilers to speak of.

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RETAIL PRICE

"Well, Teal'c, it looks like this place might have what we're looking for after all." Sam grinned as two pairs of blue eyes shot up at the sound of her voice. Daniel was seated on the dirt floor of the tent, manacled wrists resting on his knees, while Cameron lounged next to him, apparently at ease despite the chains linking most of his limbs to Daniel and a dozen other unfortunates.

"There you are," said Cameron, with the air of someone whose drink order has been slightly delayed. "Thank goodness. I could really use a trip to the facilities, if you know what I'm saying, and Jackson's been grumpy as all hell."

"I guess being kidnapped and sold into slavery just spoils my normally sweet temper," Daniel replied, sounding distinctly annoyed. Sam couldn't blame him, really; being chained to Cameron Mitchell for seven hours would be enough to make anyone a little cranky.

"What took you guys so long?" Cameron sat up and dusted himself off, apparently unconscious of the fact that he was merely shifting the dust around rather than actually removing it. "Us being the prime specimens that we are, I was starting to get worried that someone would stroll in here and buy us before you found us."

"It was necessary to search a number of tents such as this one before locating you, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c replied, declining to dignify anything but the original question with a response. "Traffic in human slaves appears to comprise a large portion of this city's trade quarter."

"So what's the plan for getting us out of these?" Daniel pulled the chain between his wrists taut.

"Well it's a bit crowded for a fire-fight, so we're going to buy you from that nice man in the leather shirt over there," Sam hefted the bag of coins she had been carrying, which clinked satisfyingly.

"Do I want to know how you came by that much local cash?" asked Cameron with an amused smile.

"Colonel Carter thought it would be appropriate to redeem you using funds procured from your captor's own store." Teal'c's barely-visible smile indicated that he, too, found this arrangement appropriate.

"The locks they use here are a pretty simple tumbler design." Sam grinned. "Let's just say that we should probably get your purchase and release out of the way soon before our friend in the leather shirt decides to check his cash box." She decided she wouldn't mention how much she had enjoyed her brief venture into cat burglary.

"Nice." Cameron smiled approvingly, but hurriedly ducked his head as the head trader swaggered across the tent toward them. The trader adjusted his leather shirt self-importantly and after a quick glance between Sam and Teal'c, seemed to decide on Sam (still holding the money bag) as his primary target.

Buying Cameron was relatively simple. Sam couldn't understand a word the man said, but they managed, mostly by dint of gesturing, to agree fairly quickly on the number of rough-minted coins that should change hands in exchanged for one Lieutenant Colonel. Buying Daniel turned out to be slightly more complicated, as Sam discovered when she tried to offer the same amount for him.

"He says I can speak three tongues. Apparently multilingual translators are retailing for a higher price than Air Force officers these days." Daniel's smile was mirthless, but Sam was fairly certain it was also a tiny bit smug.

Sam refrained, with some effort, from asking if there was a discount for buying in bulk and instead asked mildly "How does he know you speak more than one language?"

"Jackson tried to talk us out of here a few hours ago," Cameron supplied at Sam's frown. "He tried to chat up your friend there, plus one of the big meatheads he has doing the herding for him, who's apparently from far enough away that he speaks something besides Pidgin Greek. I told him it wouldn't work." He turned to Daniel "And now look, you've gone and made yourself expensive."

"I could tell him that I speak not three but _twenty-three_ languages." Daniel looked almost put-out enough to make good on the threat, so Sam pulled another handful of coins out of the sack and offered them to the leather-shirted trader, who appeared satisfied and motioned to one of his lackeys, who stepped forward and began removing Daniel's manacles. The trader turned back to her and delivered some parting sentiment, glancing from Daniel to Cameron and back to Sam. He finished with a leer and an inscrutable gesture that caused Daniel's expression to become somewhat fixed, though he offered no translation. Sam shrugged, nodded to the slave trader and motioned to Teal'c, who began leading the way out of the tent.

"What'd he say?" Cameron prompted.

"I will never tell you," Daniel replied easily, and then added as he fell into step behind Teal'c, "Ever."


End file.
